The Queen of Cuntz

Remember when...

2005-02-18T00:58:46Z

Remember when there wasnt enough room in one car to go out at night and you had to get more then one parent to drive to the movies?
Remember when walking to school was a big deal?
Remember when your frist friend got his drivers licence?
Remember your first kiss?
Remember how scared you were?
Remember when you pierced your ear?
Remember who was next to you?
Remember when you pierced your friends ear?
Remember who was next to you?
Remember when you could get away with the world?
Remember when you had to beg your parents to visit new york and you would cry if you couldnt?
Remember when the dates mattered?...i think they still do
Remember when you would see a cute boy and catch him watching you when you were watching him?
Remember when you got drunk for the first time?
Remeber the people around you?
For some weird reason i keep having this flashbacks to way back when. My memory's for that "first" time that i can never chage. i would love to hear someone elses memories, i know they are similar to mine. this post was suppose to be a lot different, but the atmospher isnt right. I miss way back when and it scares me that i can't control the memories of others who control my memories. Do you read this? I bet you do... as a matter of fact i know you do! i can't go on any more because i will get depressed. i got my nose pierced and it was cute, very, and i had to take it out because my pancrease didnt like it... AT ALL.. but i am feeling a little better. i love you.... all of you

blow it out my asshole

2005-01-12T04:02:58Z

i HATE math with the most pasionate hate on the planet, probly more then devin hates me, actually a lot more then he hates me. I will never understand math and if i can pass it with at least a C i will be the happiest girl on the planet, well not as happy as i would be if there were no such thing as hate because then if there were no such thing as hate i wouldnt write this journal becuase i wouldnt hate anything

up late thinking

2005-01-10T07:03:25Z

do you think the guys from queer eye for the straight guy ever sleep together?

new york: the city of heart break

2004-11-21T01:28:40Z

when you have no one else to blame but your self, know that you really fucked up. Life goes on.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2004-10-28T08:35:42Z

so its like 4:30 in the morning and i am sitting in bed in the dark hoping that my eyes will get tired and fall asleep. its nights like this i wish i had like who knows what, i wish max was here so wouldnt be alone and i would make him stay up wtih me but he is at his place tonight which sucks. I've been reading peoples livejounrals becuase that is what you do when you cant sleep and you spoken to everyone you can on your buddylist. This one journal i read was so anoying, i mean i guess becuase i didnt want to hear everythign i read, but ohwell, i cant take the sun shine away from someone elses parade. so orlando is ok, not what i expected, its cool and all if you like expensive resturants and theme parks, other then that theres not much else to do. This weekend is the kick off for ucf's homecoming, i could care less, i miss home alot its just weird going back there condcidering the move i made. i'm going to new york next month, devin please give me a sign that i shouldnt even waste my time. all i want to do is go up and have fun and i think that since thats my attitude thats what i should do. So i started this book and its going to be for my child when i get older becuase all the books i read have thses diarys in them an di think they are pretty cool. i am going to write in this book through out the next few years and then when i have a child i will continues to writing in it, putting in poems, my favorite pictures, all sorts of neat stuff, then when my daughter gets married i will give it to her and she can see how i got to where ever i will be then, all these books usually end sad so hopeful this one wont. i really want to travel, i asked my parents if i could go to isreal they said NO, i asked if i could go to paris, they said no, i am going to new orleans and ya know wha they dont have to know. it sucks though becuase all these trips are completely legit. ughhh i wish more people had the same problem of lackage of sleep that i have so that i oculd talk to them online instead of this stupid journal that like the same 4 or 5 people check up on all the time. i got a job, its money, thats about it,i miss my old job, just a sugestion, if u ever find a job you love, make it a career! anyhow i am going to go shut my eyes even though i know i wont fall asleep

The apacolypse is near...

2004-08-24T21:57:12Z

I'm not one to give advise but to anyone who is contemplating college, dont! its the most amazing experience other then going to sleep away camp! go, enjoy, and make friends with the people you never saw your self being friends with, get close with people from home, and make new friends, oh and buy a guniea pig because they make great dorm pets ::shhhhhhh:: i will try and post pictures. I love it here and i hope all is well in pembroke pines!

i have masive elephant size balls

2004-08-12T05:42:04Z

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

Its smooth sailings from here on out. I leave sunday for college and oh my gosh is it scarry. I was in new york last week and i was talking with a friend of mine and she asked me when i was leaving for school and it dawned on me that i was leaving a week from sunday, which is actualy less time now. Its scarry how in the blink of an eye you seem to grow up. I can only imagine how my parents are feeling, they are about to loose there baby, i mean i will always be the baby, but now they are going to be sharing me with the rest of the world. I am so excited, yet so nervous about school. it seems like i have so much to do but not enough time. I got a book tonight(thank you max) that i think i need to read before i go up to college. When i was in the 11th grade my english class red catcher in the rye, i read summer sisters instead, it was agreat book and i learned a lot from it, so now i am going to read catcher in the rye. I think that by reading this book that i know pretty much nothing about, it will prepare me for my "future" its just one of those books that i know i have to read at some point. So new york was great, i bought the city! the shopping this sumemr was pretty good, fashion did not disapoint me like i thought it would. Cowboy boots are in which is a great thing because i happen to own a brand new pair! i saw all of my friends. I saw Devin. I got what i wanted out of this trip so i have no complaints, i'm not talking with him now, but my shelf is waiting. Wow i just cant believe that i am leaving home! i just cant put my thoughts and feelings into words right now. I wish i was moo shu. shes sitting next to me curled up in a little ball watching me type. I wonder if she understands or if she cares, or if she knows how gross it is when she licks her croch. But she just puts out so much love and affection so i guess she does understand, cares, and knows that she is SO gross. Its just a random thought. The tooth brush is the dirtiest item in the house. How gross is that? max and i calmed down, things are great, i am happy and excited to be going off to school with him. i am getting so tired right now.

new idea!

2004-07-07T04:08:40Z

So for those of you that actually read this i have a new idea and i would like to know what you think. So heres the deal, i need to come up with a gift to give to 300 people that costs me under $5 total and it has to represent some form of leadership/high school anythign really. So thisis my idea: A negative from a camer/film to remind the students to have fun and enjoy what they are doing because later they will become memories negative=memories, help me out a little please!

how useless can a person get?

2004-07-04T04:50:24Z

I've always had somethign to keep me going and i find my self at a complet standstill with nothing to look forward too. My original summer plans included me going to new york, getting a job, and just clearing my head of nothing. I ended up staying home ALL summer with the exception of going to Wyoming which really isnt going to be that great concidering i am goign with my parents who in all honesty i am so incredibly sick of. I am pretty jelous of Marianne, shes in new york and is gunna have the time of her life, which i should of done. Its like i've forgoten how to socialize, its a pretty scary feeling. My parents signed a contract for someone to buy my house which is pretty cool beacuse my parents say we will have money once the house is sold. Max has been away at school so i've been lonely, just hanging around, nothing special, i went to visit him the other day when i had a mental break down which caused a huge fight in his house, i feel bad because he had no control over me visiting, but i also am upset because i would do anythign for maxs family and they dont treat me nice at all, maxs dad refers to me as company, and his mom thinks i am a threat to his education, it almost hurts my feelings. I am going crazy because its like i am only 18 and everyone keeps talking to me about getting married and having to deal with his family, nows not the time to talk about things like that, he makes me happy, i am not with him for his family, i am with him for him. Its so complicated but yet so simple. College is almost here, i wonder what it will be like, i am gunna rush, never in a million yeras could i imagine my self in a sorority, but i also never thought i would turn so anit social, so heres to bringing Helen back, i guess? Devin still isnt talking to me, i dont know if its that big of a problem its just i wish i really knew what i did to piss him off so much, i mean i understand how he feels, i think, but i dont think i made that much of a mistake unless its something completly different then what i think the real problem is. I was looking through these live journals the other day and some of them are pretty patheitc, but whose to say mine isnt, its like i read some of them, and its all about name droping and who this one knows and that one knows. I read this persons journal the other day and i hear about what all of her friends did or what they are doing, but nothing about her, i really dont care about her that much so it doesnt matter much. Oh so i am doing SFLTC this summer, i am gunna be a councler, i need a nickname, any suggestions, i was thinking somewhere along the lines of Sparkle, or Glitter, somethign shiny, and this is where ya'll come in, i need to give a gift to all of the campers that represents leadership and i have to get 300 of the gifts and spend under $5 so this is my question... What represents leadership to you? get as out there as you possibley can, i am talking very original, and this is if anyone reads this, any how i am getting depressed now, so i am done.

I can't stand the oposite sex!

2004-04-22T04:13:07Z

Questions i leave open for any guy or girl that thinks she can answer them:
1) Why are you all so stuborn?
2) Why cant you just leave a message on a phone instead of calling 4 times?
3) Why cant you let your girlfriends be right every once in a while or at least pretend not to know what they are talking about when they inform you of something that they have learned?
4) Why do you think ignoring a situation will better it?
5) Why do you say and do hurtful things even thought you say you dont mean them?
6) How do you love someone if you fight all the times?
7) At what point does everythign settle and the relationship become normal?
8) Why is it easier for a girl to forgive and forget then for a guy to just forgive?
9) Why dont boys like getting haircuts?
10) What can a girl do to make things better for the guy?

Please live journal land help me find the answers to these oh so difficult questions!

New York was pretty fun! Max liked everybody! Devin isnt talking to me! and the Miami Heat have won the 2 first playoff games! All is good in the life of Helen Tillem... Its a front

Hello Hello livejournal land

2004-03-10T01:59:36Z

so its been almost 3 months since i have updated... you ask your self how much thigns can chagne in such a short period of time and i tell my self not much, buti am wrong, acutaly 2 months ago today a lot has chagned. I have been diagnosed with Diabetes, its not a big deal if you take care of your self, but taking care of your self involves the most barberic thigns on earth, checking your blood a hole bunhc of times a day with a needle, and giving your self injections 3 times a day, its just not for me and you ahve to watch everything that goes in you, you have to check your keytons which are in your pee and everytime i have checked them, i have peed on my self so i am not that good at it. I've had many moments where i hate the world, and i know the world hates me, but i will survive i am a storng girl. I got new SGA officers which really make me happy because it means i am not really an officer anymore and i am kinda like free, i really like these kids, they are all so inacent, its like great, epstein will train them well, i am kinda giving up on working with them because eveytime i say something epstein says the opposite, oh well, hes the one that will be there next year and not me, thank god. 3 months from yesturday i will be walking across the stage with the rest of the regular students at flanagan high school, because thats all i am, a regular student at flanagan high school, seriously who gives a shit anymore. Its just werid that everythign is almost over. Emma is coming down in 2 weeks, i couldnt be more happier then the see her, i really missed her, then me my mom dad and max(crosses fingers) is going to new york during spring break, i hope everything works out and i hope thigns arent werid, i've never brought anyone from my florida envierment into my new york enverment, but its max, and hes not just anyone hes the most important person on earth to me, and if i cant handle him being in new york with me then theres something wrong, i love him so much, hes such a good person, its great, i am happy, and i am trying to overcome everything and eventually i will! i am women hear me roar

Flowers make me happy

2003-12-14T20:39:37Z

i am sitting in my room super depressed right now, its raining out so i think that might have something to do with it because i cant figure out why i am so depressed. Theres this concert tonight max and his family are going to it i dont know if i want to go i just dont want to like intude into his family outing, i wish my parens would go, they never do anythign family type, it bothers me a lot i want like a normal family. I want to go to the concert but i feel bad. i am so depressed right now, i baked oatmeal lace cookies today, i am going to ucf i went the other day it was nice, i am excited max is going also, yesturday was max and i's 6 month, we went to the melting pot it was pretty good i would go back, friday is the last day before break i am excited, i am kinda upset that i didnt go to ny and i feel bad because i keep pushing it on max, but honestly i am excited that i get to spend the break with my boy!! i love him a lot, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh depression upon me!

gobal gobal

2003-11-27T22:52:33Z

happy thanksgiving!! i hope everyone had some good grub to chow down on if not theres plenty at my house!!!

please answer me, do i know why i am so stupid?

2003-11-26T23:37:17Z

so, i've been sitting in my house for the past 3 days with my dogs and a phone that keeps beeping, i am loosing my mind. So i figure lets up date this thing, Tomarrow is turkey day, its my second favorite holiday, lets see if it will stay up there, everyone is down from ny whish is pretty cool because i love my family so its nice to have everyone here. I have seen max in like 4 days and it sucks becasue i miss him and i think thats whats been bathering me, i need to be around him constently because he completes me, i dont feel complete, well yea, i am pretty sure i am moving to ny for the summer, its going to kick so much ass, i cant wait. So tonight, lets see if anyone reads this before the end of tonight and wants to invite me to do somethign let me no because i am board and i need somethign to do, oh by the way i am animic which is pretty cool!!! ok well my mom just got home i will be going now, good night!

Why do you say i am so stupid?!? Do i know the real reason? i think i do... am i right?

2003-11-10T01:47:31Z

Hello Live journal land, so sorry for the incredibly long lack of undateing, but i have been pretty busy and pretty happy, and have had no use for this thing, well i am still pretty busy and pretty happy, i just got back from new york, it was great, a short last minute trip away from my insanity. Max is still perfect, perfection for almost 5 months now, time sure does fly. I cant wait for college, it will be the best!! i am so sick of high school, its liek i am never there any more, i feel like ia m letting sga down, but i also feel liek i did my time last year and the yeras before, so i have been thinking alot about this summer and i what i want to do before going to college and i thnk i decided that i want to go to ny, get a job stay at tobys, or allisons, or maybe my uncles apartment, he wont be there, any suggestions as to wha ti should do befoer college please post for me, just post to say hi, i love when people post, i updated a few weeks ago but never posted it because it was me talking out of my ass and none of it was true and i am happy i didnt post it, i love life right now, i couldnt ask for anythign better, well actaully i could ask to be feeling alittle bit better but other then that life is good, post to make it better!!!!

Long Time No See Partner

2003-09-08T23:37:04Z

So, a lot has happend in 3 weeks of not typing. I learned all 30 teams in the NBA, still working on the arena's. I learned that i have grown up with a bunch of back stabing bitchs, well actually i learned that today. I learned that actully a lot of girls are back stabing bitchs. I learned that because its not neccessary is not a good enough excuse. Max's mom is incredibly funny, and she made my day better, and the most important thing, that i already knew, I have the worlds best boyfriend!
One Love
We are just children understand
We're two in a million the precious grains of sand
We slip through the fingers dancing on the wind
We find each other

(Chorus)
One you - one me
One chance for us to live
One heart - one soul
One life for us to give
One dream - one mind
One sky up above
One you - one me
One love
One love

A star made a wish on us tonight
Hangin' out in heaven inspired by our light
She knows how it feels to shine on all the world
And last forever

Chorus

Surrender all your battles
It's only love that makes us matter

We are all the possibilities
As endless as our imagination

Chorus
sister hazel just gets me in the heart

ahhhhhhhh

2003-08-25T17:47:40Z

Here i am sitting in school skipping my very first class!!!!! It sucks, i feel like all alone, i miss emily and anna, and marianne, and april, and everyone, it sucks, its so weird, i miss max so much i want him to be in school with me, great news i have a school board meeting at taravella tomarrow so i get to see max, i love him, i miss him, i am tired, peace!!!

You make things perfect!

2003-08-18T03:25:19Z

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do

For the morning sun in all it's glory
greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter
and somehow you make it better
ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do

There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness
take away my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do
Take away all my sadness
fill my life with gladness
ease my troubles that's what you do
Take away all my sadness
fill my life with gladness
ease my troubles that's what you do

This is so true!! sorry about the time gap, but thats what happens when you are with the perfect person, you get caught up in other more important things, and updating your journal just doesnt matter, everything is all right everything is ok, everythign is perfect!!!!

Incredibly sad news!

2003-08-08T05:04:02Z

Mr favorite basket ball player isnt going to play basketball and i never even got to see him play! Mourn for me please
Kerr will join TNT as analyst

ATLANTA -- Steve Kerr has decided to end his NBA playing career and join TNT as an analyst.

The cable network announced Thursday that Kerr will work on-site at one of TNT's two weekly Thursday night telecasts, along with All-Star weekend and the playoffs.

Kerr finished his 14-year career in June by winning a championship with the San Antonio Spurs -- his fifth title. He was considering playing another season.

"It was tough to pass up the opportunity to play another year for the Spurs, but I'm so thrilled about the opportunity to work with TNT," Kerr said. "It was the only way I'd pass up another year of playing in the NBA."

Kerr was named to the NBA's All-Interview team twice during his career and has made numerous appearances on TNT's studio show.

"We were very impressed with Steve during his appearances in our studio and he'll be an outstanding addition to what we feel is the best collection of talent in sports television," said David Levy, president of Turner Sports. "He brings us another personality, fresh from the game, with exceptional credibility along the lines of past and present TNT personalities like Doc Rivers, Danny Ainge, Jeff Van Gundy, Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley."

Kerr retires as the league's leading career shooter from 3-point range (45.4 percent, as well as the single-season leader in three-point accuracy, hitting 89 of 170 attempts (52.4 percent) during the 1994-95 season.

Kerr won two championships with the Spurs (1999 and 2003) and three with the Chicago Bulls (1996, 1997 and 1998).

Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed

I love how easy it is to relate to music!

2003-08-08T05:02:05Z

You don't know what you do to me. You changed around the scenery. And now everything is new to me , but looks just right, yeah, it looks just right Whoa its strange, but its beautiful, and I know where I am, whoa
Chorus
I've never been here before, I've never been loved like this, never been tumblin' stumblin' over the words that get tangled inside of me I've never been moved this way, no body's ever made me say 99 point 9 percent sure I've never been here before
I'm walkin in a wonderland. Gone ever since it all began .And I don't even want to understand, cause it feels that good yeah it feels that good. It's a state that ain't on a map. Yet I know where I'm at oh
Chorus
I've never been here before, I've never been loved like this , never been tumblin' stumblin' over the words that get tangled inside of me I've never been moved this way, no body's ever made me say 99 point 9 percent sure I've never been here before
99 point 99 point na na na na nana nana na nana na It's a state that ain't on a map. Yet I know where I'm at I've never been here before, I've never been loved like this , never been tumblin' stumblin'over the words that get tangled inside of me I've never been moved this way, nobody's ever made me say 99 point 9 percent sure I've never been here before I've never been here before, I've never been loved like this , never been tumblin' stumblin'over the words that get tangled inside of me I've never been moved this way, nobody's ever made me say 99 point 9 percent sure I've never been here before No I've never been here before I've never been here before (I've never been moved this way) I've never been here before, 99 point 9 percent sure; (pause) I've never been here before
Sorry for the lack of updating, i just havent been in the mood, nothing special is going on, i am going away next week whcih sucks ina way becausei dont like being away from my one and only!! The best thing on earth happened today so i am driving back to aprils and i see this sign and i am like no way and she is like yes way and i am liek no way and she is like yes way, and you would never believe it, they opened a 7-11 right by my house, i am in heaven, that will be my stop befor school every morning!! So yea thats about it, i hung out iwth my max and his friend corey tonight, he was pretty cool, i enjoyed my self very much so!! any how tomarrow night i am talking my man to a very special place, but i cant post it on here till after i take him because then he will read it and it wont be a surprise, april knows!! i went to her house today and seriously it is so cool, i want my house to be liek hers, her mom is my new favorite person of the day and she has a chincilla, its liek a rabit with really long ears and a tail and its softer, it was way cool
Educational tip of the day....
If you leave a gold fish in the dark for a long time its looses its goldness and turns white, so instead of a gold fish it is a white fish!!!!
Today was such a long day! good night!!

My night ended up a-ok!

2003-08-05T04:55:36Z

You Are a Like Lips!

You are a deep and sensual lover - who loves to spend hours making out.

A kiss is still the sexiest thing in the world to you.

And although you may not know it yet...

Your gentle untapped sexuality will be explosive once it's unleashed.

And if the tiger is out already ...then keep up the good work!

What Body Part Are You Most Like?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Kisses for the one and only!!!
I think i grew up a little in the past few days, i am proud of my self!
Tonight turned out ok max came over we did a little of the B and N then headed over to Robin, i havent seen her ina while, i always have fun with her, i should hang out with her more often, i think its spelled with one F correct me if i am wrong! anyhow thats aboutit, my pour puppy got rabi shots today shes was all like disshevled, actually she wasnt but i just felt like using the word tomarrow i have to work and i am going ice skating and my friend comes down, i am excited, i havent seen him in like 3 years, it should be fun!

Blow Me

2003-08-05T00:27:15Z

I cant wait to move out. Parents blow massive asshole, i dont think my parents liek me very much, well screw you mom and dad i dont like oyu either, my father is never home and my mother has a 10 foot stick up her ass, oh well i am in a bad mood, i feel like i am 5 all over again an di am not aloud ot leave my houes oh well max is on his way!! thanks for saving me!

I am scared will someone please hold me

2003-08-04T13:34:46Z

it's like 9:30 and my alarm was supposed to go off at 9:45 so you ask helen why are yo awake so early? and helen responds because she had another night mare and didnt want to see the rest of it. and you respond what was it about and she resonds death, and you respond who died and she responds my father. It was such a bad dream, i was crying so much in it, it didnt make sense why my father had to die, and it was liek forced death like he did somethign wrong and had to go to jail and die. anyhow enough about that dream, i had another olsen twin dream this time we were in one of there detective movies ya know the corny ones where they solve the stupidist crimes, well yea, we were running from a bad guy through cypress bay high school and we jumped into our getaway car which was a silver bug, i dont know what is wrong with me seriously i have been having the most fucked up dreams. i just got a phone call from my new sponsor dude he wants me to come into school for a little i told him no problem, so i will be alittle late to work big deal! I love you!

My Hamster is one happy rodent!

2003-08-03T03:02:49Z

I just hit my head really really really hard. i was putting a leash on molli and i stood up really fast and bamm my head went strait into the counter, i felt like a dumb ass but it hurt a lot, it still kinda does, kiss it to make it feel better, please!!!! Today was a very nice day. i spent some time with my most favoritest person on earth today!! he let me get rid of the yucky eyebrow hair inbetween is eyebrows, hes nuts, but i guess he must really love and trust me. Marvins doing fine, i felt him kicking earlier today, i wonder what he will look like. Went to dinner with my parents, it was nice seeing them, i never do anythign with them anymore, i kinda liek it, then we went to my grammys, i love that lady so much and my uncle too, i am so happy he is down here, he use to never be around but now its liek more of my family is here!! ughh its great, my head still hurts, and my hamster is pigging out on her grub, i felt bad i havent given her new food in awhile, oh well!!

Eat Great Even Late! I am sitting next to a wendys cup, its sad that that guy died

2003-08-02T19:11:18Z

i really want to see that movie city girls, it looks way too good, anyhow today is pretty low key, yesturday was such a lond day so i am sticking today out around the house, I might go see my grandma later, Max is watching this foot ball game at 8 with his family, i know its ok that we dont see each other everyday, but i hate not seeing him, he makes me smile, i am so bumed out right now and i bet if i was with him i would be so ok, anyhow i just felt like taking up some time and writing on here, i hat saturday tv, theres seriously nothing on! oh and carrott top is so so so so so ulgy

*The Queen of Cuntz*